That's fucking stupid

Yet another flight where my time has been wasted and I’ve been put out because I can’t take a bottle of water with me or even my grooming kit to clip my nails and trim the old goatee while waiting for take-off. OH NO, These are the TOOLS OF TERRORISTS and therefore I am a criminal for wanting to have a bit of convenience while I fly.

Newsflash: these rules are not “security”. They are “security theatre”.

Security is an effective way of stopping people doing bad stuff (like stealing money from a bank). Security theatre is for showing the public that you’re doing something to protect them without actually affording them any extra protection.

So here for you as my winter festival gift for 2008, is the That’s Fucking Stupid Terrorist Training Manual:

1. One passenger may take up to five 100ml bottles. Two people travelling together may therefore take up to 1 litre of liquids between them and as many empty vessels as they like.

2. Airside restaurants (the bit after “security”) give you nice big metal knives. So don’t worry about your nail clippers being confiscated.

3. Perimeter fences have nice big holes that you can pass anything through to a friendly airside employee.

4. Hint for wannabe airside employees: background checks mean nothing if you’ve done nothing wrong yet.

5. Not every member of every “terrorist cell” is going to be on the no-fly list (see point 4). Just send all your guys on dirt cheap no-frills flights – you’ll soon work out which of your members are on the list and which aren’t.

…or any of a million other possibilities.

This is my point: bad people will do bad things, no matter what. Air transport is only one of many targets (and let’s face it, there are far easier targets). None of the extra “security” silliness we’re subjected to today will do anything to prevent any terrorist attacks.

For more common sense, read Bruce Schneier’s excellent blog.

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