That's fucking stupid

Archive for the ‘Government’ Category

Jacqui Smith is finally out of the House of Commons.

Yes!

Edit: Brown too. Let us finally rejoice!

In this lovely article where Brown was overheard to call a bigoted woman a bigot, the soon to be former Chancellor said about the current former Chancellor and soon to be former PM:

“I hope people will judge him in the round. The fact we are coming out of this recession is down to him in no small part.”

Thanks for that, Darling. I hope that people also remember:

The fact we are in this recession is down to him in no small part.

The calm measured response from Facebook to the pleading from pointless Daily Mail inspired quango Ceop has continued to frustrate the self serving cock monkey Jim Gamble who runs Ceop.

It seems that Jim has not got a shred of dignity because he’s not content to take the great big “fcuk you” that Facebook dealt him the last time and has now used taxpayers cash to go on a jolly to Washington to beg some more. Seriously, get over your stupid button.

The thing is, that it’s not even a cocking button. Not a real button. Not like the power button on your computer or the buttons on an old fashioned phone. It’s actually a link. A bit like this one.

So here’s the thing. Other than for the pride of one Mr Jim Gamble and to help him justify the fat trough of cash he gets from the treasury is there any difference between putting a nice ‘report’ link all over the site or plastering it with this monstrosity:

They both have the same aim, and reports that go via the Facebook report button are forwarded to CEOP so really it just seems to be about CEOP wanting to leach some publicity from Facebook.

Mass Rome rally shows support for Silvio Berlusconi

Seeing this headline, my first thought was: “who paid them?”

Holy shitsticks! The polo neck wearing trendies from Facebook are going to see the Home Secretary today; although one assumes it will be some lowly minion in the “we don’t give a fuck about the governments of marginalised european countries” department rather than someone important from the bay area.

The meeting is so that Facebook can slap a little “fuck you” all over the faces of the idiots we still tolerate as our government. In other words they’ll explain why they haven’t added the ‘clickceop’ button to their site.

I expect the conversation will go something like this:

Facebook: Seriously, guys, apart from making some Daily Mail readers think you’re doing something about the paedophile menace don’t you think your stupid little button is a little fucking wanky?

Big Al: Mutter mutter paedophiles mutter mutter Ashleigh Hall mutter mutter Peter Chapman

Facebook: Why do you keep bringing things back to that case? Ashleigh Hall was unlucky. Stupid as well but mainly unlucky.

Big Al: Mutter mutter please add the button so we can save all the kiddies mutter waffle.

Facebook: Dude, are you a window licker? Ashleigh Hall was tricked into thinking she was talking to a young boy. Let’s not forget that shall we? She was 17 years old so not some innocent little six year old, she was a 17 year old porker who was searching online for some cock.

Big Al: Mutter mutter but if she had been able to click the button.

Facebook: You mean the button that just links to a wanky police website? Dude, you’re not getting it, SHE DIDN’T HAVE ANY REASON TO CLICK A BUTTON BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT SHE WAS TALKING TO A YOUNG LAD.

Big Al: But the button…

Facebook: Fuck you! You can spin this shit however you like but a crappy icon on our site linking to an even crappier site would not have done cock all. We have ‘report this’ links strewn all over our site to deal with offensive content and a dedicated team of people who are selected and employed by us, we’d rather not hand that quite important job over to some incompetent buffoons in some shitty self justifying quango.

Big Al: But MSN and Beebo and Lions and Tigers and Bears Oh My!

Facebook: Yeah and stickers and ponies and myspace dot com. Don’t mention MSN to me, I don’t give a fuck that MSN have your wanky button, Ashleigh Hall spoke to Peter Chapman on MSN and no shitty button helped there. Do you know why? BECAUSE SHE DIDN’T SUSPECT ANYTHING. IF SHE HAD SUSPECTED SOMETHING SHE WOULD HAVE USED OUR ‘REPORT THIS’ LINK. SHE WANTED TO MEET THE GUY BECAUSE SHE WAS A FAT LONELY 17 YEAR OLD WHO SPENT TOO MUCH TIME ON THE INTERNET TRYING TO FIND BOYS TO FUCK HER.

If you actually suspect your are talking to a paedo online then you can click here to go to the aforementioned wanky site or you can just not arrange to meet up with the person who is probably trying to rape/murder you.

EDIT: Found this great picture of the cock ferret that got murdered. Enjoy.